Domestic Abuse Roles
Domestic violence is defined as any physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological act or threat of action used against one’s partner to gain or maintain power and control. Regardless of their gender, race, ethnicity, age, ability or religion, all victims are impacted by the effects of abuse.
Are You The Victim?
Often, you don’t realize that you are being abused until it is too late. During an abusive relationship, your partner may make you feel worthless and defective in some way. They might even take your money, restrict your access to your phone, prevent you from going to school or work and even physically hurt you. It can be hard to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship, but they are usually there even if you try to ignore them.
Are You The Aggressor?
A primary aggressor is someone who gains power and control over their partner through vigilance, coercion, non-cooperation and punishment. Many people will act as if everything is fine in public but then lash out instantly when they get alone with their partner. They will also often try to control their partner’s emotions and thoughts. They may even label their partners as “crazy” or “irrational.” This is done to discount their points of view and feelings. They may also label the victim’s anger as a sign of weakness or a lack of remorse, when they are really just in a bad mood. Have you ever used the words “crazy” or “irrational” when you think your partner is having an argument?
Can You Be Both?
If you’re unlucky enough to be in a domestic violence situation, it’s not uncommon for both parties to become abusive. One of the best things to do is to sit down with your spouse and discuss what each of you needs from the other. This will allow you to come up with a workable plan for the future. It will also help you avoid a repeat of what the previous couple months of your life have been like. You may have to be brave or bold to take that last step, but if you do it will reward you with a safer and happier future.
If you are the victim of domestic violence, it’s important to know that there are resources available for you. These include counseling, support groups, legal aid and emergency shelter. A counselor can be a particularly great resource for both parties involved. They will be able to talk through issues such as emotional and mental trauma, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. They will also be able to provide education and guidance on how to handle the situation better. If you’re in need of a professional counselor, be sure to reach out to us here at Apple Valley Counseling Services LLC today and see how we can help you.
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