Domestic Violence in Dating: Warning Signs

April 1, 2022 12:00 am Published by Leave your thoughts

Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, or religion. One in five women and one in seven men experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime, according to the CDC. Most abusive relationships don’t start as abusive. However, the warning signs may be evident pretty early in the relationship, but they may not be clear until they’ve progressed into full-blown abuse. In most cases, you may see these signs but ignore them, brush them under the carpet, or believe the excuses or explanations given when you inquire about their behavior.

Warning Signs for Domestic Violence During Dating

Before committing to a romantic relationship, it’s essential to know the red flags of an abusive partner. As we said, there will always be signs of abuse even before you enter the relationship. The warning signs may not look the same in every relationship, as all relationships are different. One common thing with almost all abusive partners is using tactics like lies, gifts, and small gestures to control you or cover up their abusive behavior. Other common warning signs for domestic violence during dating include:

  • Constant messaging and calling
  • Idolizing you and pressuring you to commit very quickly
  • Constantly using phrases such as "I’m all you need" or "I can’t live without you"
  • Asking your whereabouts and who you’re with, and what you’re doing
  • Blaming you, other people, or things instead of taking responsibility
  • Choosing what you will wear or how you will dress without consulting you
  • Blowing minor disagreements out of proportion
  • Treating you nicely at one point and exploding with rage in the next
  • Using demeaning words and too much force during an argument
  • Disrespectful to others and insensitive to their pain

What Are Ways To Tell If Someone Is a Dangerous Person to Date?

It’s possible to tell if someone is a dangerous person based on how they carry themselves and how they treat you and other people. These people often do not know how to control their emotions, particularly anger. Abusive and dangerous partners can hurt, intimidate, manipulate, frighten, terrorize, blame, injure and humiliate their partners and later apologize, treat them well and repeat the circle. In most cases, such partners have been hurt when they were children by the people they trusted and loved, such as their parents or relatives. You can know if your potential romantic partner is dangerous if they:

  • Are extremely jealous
  • Have a terrible temper
  • Are cruel to animals
  • Appear too possessive
  • Force you to have sex
  • Abuse other people, including their family members and friends
  • Are unpredictable

How To Spot Signs of Intimate Violence When Dating

Spotting signs of intimate violence means identifying behaviors that show control or power. Ideally, an abusive partner will want you to be totally devoted only to them and their needs. They want to own you and everything you own. Such abusers tend to have similar characteristics, making it easy to identify the patterns in the early phases of the relationship. 

To determine the presence of an abuser, be on the lookout for coercive tendencies and selfishness. You also need to consider the intensity of these signs to decide. You can ask random, precise questions and listen to their answers. Violent partners tend to be pathological liars and lie about anything in your relationship. If you notice an increasing trend in lies, it’s time to leave before the worst happens.

Domestic violence is traumatizing, and the effects linger for a very long time. If you’re a domestic violence survivor, you can reach out to Apple Valley Counseling Services, LLC for counseling services. We’re available 24 hours a day at 509-452-1000. Call us anytime to learn more about our domestic violence treatment programs.

Lastly, if you or a loved one is experiencing domestic violence in Yakima, ask them to seek help through the Yakima, WA crisis line at 509-248-7796 (24 hours).






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